Aye aye Ah ken it's Hogmanay
an whit's a man supposty dae
if thur's naebody at hame?
But Wullie man ye've hud a skin.
D'ye want the fuzz tae tak ye in?
It's jist no worth it son.
It's no as if ye'll bring her back
by gettin stocious. Best tae jack
it in an shoot the craw
while ye're still staunin like. Thur's nae
wey Ah cud serve ye onywey,
no in yer present state.
A poke o chups wud dae ye mair
guid than anither pint o beer.
The shoap's jist roon the coarner.
An see if she ever draps by here
ma name's no Aggie if Ah don't gie her
whit fur fur fleein awa.
Ach dinna worry, Ah'll no hurt her.
An efter aa it wad be murder
huvin tae live wi you.
Ah canny blether ony mair,
so gaun yersel an mind the stair
an Wullie - Happy New Year!