Peter Manuel

We weren't sure what he would do
only that he was bad
and that's why we decided to
build Manuel traps. We had

agreed that he would come to Ayr
and climb our garden wall
in search of gold, but we would scare
him off, once and for all.

We took a brick and tied a string
around it, nice and tight
and lodged it in the apple tree
out of the villain's sight.

The other end that dangled loose
(this was a brilliant plan)
we made into a hangman's noose
Here's how the theory ran -

He'll say, "A noose! Is this a trick
to hang me?" but instead
he'll tug the string and then the brick
will land right on his head.

We scattered dandelion where
the string hung from the tree,
the surest bait to lead him there.
It looked like gold to me.

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