Agnes on Police

Ah seen it wi ma ain eyes Maggie hen -
They wisny proaper polis, they wis berrs.
OK the guy wis stocious like, ah ken,
an ferr enough he hurled a coupla cherrs
but me an you'd o handled him wursels
thur wisny ony need tae fetch the fuzz
Ah mean tae say - a bampot oan the Bells
jist breid an bu'ur tae the likes o uz
an jeez it's Se'urday 'nis team's goat bate
'nis wife's in hoaspital 'nis wean's in jile
an he's no bin warkin noo since ninety eight -
ach weel, he took the big wan oot in style.
Thu'll dae him but, fur causin an affray.
Ah'm gled he goat the big wan onywey.